On the Run

•August 4, 2009 • 5 Comments

Ok I decided that I needed to post an update blog with an explanation of why I have been gone. It has been a month that was as rough as a cat’s tongue.

With my parents divorce in the process it has been a difficult transition. I have now been resulted to being the messenger and helping my dad settle certain things. Other than the awkwardness of it all, in the back of my mind it has been worrying about my next steps. I live in the guesthouse, so I may end up having to find another place to stay that is as affordable to what I’m paying now. Of course there are those that support me and want to help me out if I should need it, but my independence always seems to get the better of me. Though I love those close to me dearly, I often prefer to do things on my own because it allows little error for disappointment in others. It has been past experience for me, that being self-reliant is best especially when it comes down to my own welfare.

Over the last month I have also been busy with my summer Chemistry course. It was a 16-week course being taught in 6 weeks. Out of all 6 weeks of cramming, all I can say is I’ll never take a course of this difficulty in a short amount of time again. I did end up getting a B, but it took a majority of my time and put me back on a schedule that I was no longer use to. I would get up at 5 am to work out, then head to work until 5 pm, school from 6 to 10, and finally make it home around 10:15 to find time for homework/study. When it came to the weekends, I ended up studying for my exams that took place every Monday. In fact Chemistry consumed me so much that I ended up dreaming of it. To say that I’m glad that it’s over is a complete understatement for me, but I now have to worry about my future classes. You see, working full time in this day and age doesn’t allow you to pursue the education that you want. Colleges seem to be under the assumption that your education will be paid for by either an extensive loan or parents, so they hardly offer courses that can be taken at night or online. A majority of my previous classes were taken online, but because I’m technically a science major that require lab work, I need to take on site courses. Of course though, when I go to see what little I am offered, all the classes I need are during the hours in which I work. I work to pay for a better education. Quite the contradiction from what colleges are trying to ingrain in their students.

Lastly in which I do not want to dwell on for to long is that my significant other decided that it was time that we discussed out previous struggles and questions/ hurt that I needed to express.

(Please read Tarnished–My life My Vengeance for more history of out past struggles.)

In all honesty I told him I did not want to deal with that emotional baggage at the time, yet he push for it. He wanted to start anew and help me get past the hurt done. I spoke of my feeling of betrayal, self worth, and all things in between. From his manipulation, to his constant demeaning outlook, to things I found hurt me the most. It was a trying time for me. I lack the communication skills that most have. I would rather bottle things up and deal with them the best way I can unless necessary to assert my beliefs on something. Don’t let my writing fool you though, because I really do have communication issues. I may be able to write how I feel, but when I did write to him to tell him what I thought/ felt, he just didn’t understand. It was as though my words were a different language so he easily dismissed them. Thus, the reasons to have me talk and learn to communicate with him while he learns to listen.

Sadly, I have my doubts and fear I may be sent away a fool once again. Am I an instrument he can break before becoming the echoes of its vibration?

Life in the past month has just been a bit overwhelming because of these issues. I believe it has been because of stress (partly anyway) that I have been ill for the last few weeks (dizzy, extremely tired where I can’t get up, migraines, and nauseated), but I know I will get better soon. I find that the best thing I could do for myself during this time is to eat well, sleep well, exercise, and think positive. Thinking positive is difficult for me, but I am trying. I figure that in order to attract positive things to you in life your need to have some kind of positive thinking. All of this is the reason why I’m deciding to relax and take life as it comes. I find refocusing yourself and connecting with things around you, could be the very thing your soul needs from time to time. My actions to better thing in my life were to only take a drawing class, rid of old junk that I have collected over the years, and spend my time retracing my steps to reconnect with my inner being in nature. Writing has always been my strong point and a way to vent and express passion, and I thank you for those whose listen or can benefit you in some way. I hope to add things on a regular basis as I did previously.

Good Luck and Good Health to All,

~Lady Temptress

pearls_of_life

Just a Percentage

•July 7, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Again I’m sorry for the week off from posting and thanks to those who continue to comment and are bearing with me. Last week I was just trying to wrap my mind around reality and take a break to catch up. I bet i failed my chemestry test because of it.

Although I am 23 years old, my parents’ announcement of divorcing is still shocking to me. I have known that it was to be for a while, but it is still difficult I suppose. They have been married for 29 years with many ups and down that I can remember, but over the last few years things seemed as if they were settling down to a comfortable relationship. It seemed as though as they have aged and things were on a nice schedule and were out doing things on occasion, but then took a turn somewhere down the line where my mother kept complaining that my dad just slept all day. She was starting to go out more with her work friends and ended up getting a facebook where she reconnected with high school friends. It seemed they were now living 2 separate lives.

Soon complaints and accusations began to arise, mainly from my mother, about him cheating and he never wants to do anything but sleep. Then my dad was complaining about my mother hanging out with her work friends all the time, it all became to much to the point where I didn’t want to see them anymore. They both from their own side have said they were not going to get me involved; yet that was exactly what they were doing. The worse part of it all was they put me into a position where I had to lie to them. That is something I utterly felt ill about doing. They would use me as a form of watchdog to see what the other was doing, completely involving me, and I continued to act oblivious with the reply of “I have no idea.”

This last week things began to get out of hand in the sense they both called me to gripe about the other starting the downward spiral to the point where I snapped and said to talk to the other and leave me out of it! I am 23 years old with a full time job, I’m a student full time, I workout when I can, I have my hobbies, my friends, and my boyfriend… I have my own life that is difficult to manage let alone deal with their childish antics.

I am furious, upset, and tired.

I haven’t see my dad in 2 weeks and my mother continues to force herself upon me and the time I have set out for my boyfriend. I wouldn’t so much if the whole time spent was speaking ill of my dad. My dad has called me, my mother bugs me, and the text message reads, “We are getting a divorce.” I am now going to join the percentage of people whose parents have divorced. It’s upsetting really to see how many failed marriages are out there. No matter what though, he is still may dad and she is still my mother and will love them both. Their relationship is theirs to figure out on their own. Keeping me involved only hurts me. When I don’t think about it I’m fine because it hasn’t completely sunken in yet, but when it does I will have to look at it as if it wern’t my parents. I would give advice to someone in the same situation to try as hard as you can then you have to come to the conclusion if your happy and is it worth the investment. I do not believe in Divorce, but today you never know when the next one will hit.

Life will still go on, it just decides to take different paths that we’ve expected them to take.

~Lady T

Tekkaus-raindrops.jpg image by tekkaus

Forever Immortalized

•June 26, 2009 • 5 Comments

Michael Jackson- Pop Icon

 

“I don’t want to be buried.

                    I would like to live forever…” 

Today I’m going to pay my personal tribute to Michael Jackson’s shocking death.

In all honesty I am quite surprised that his death impacted me so much. I still can’t put my mind around the fact that he’s dead. His death is to the level, if not more, of Elvis, Princess Diana, Kennedy.Michael died of cardiac arrest yesterday that many refused to believe. So much so that Google announced technical difficulties after a sudden swell in searches for “Michael Jackson” led the company to believe it was under attack from hackers, while social networking site Twitter reported a crash after record numbers of users used the site to spread the news of Jackson’s death. Wikipedia had temporarily experienced technical difficulties and crashed reportedly due to excessive edits and user overload.

It has been reported that police are searching for Michael Jackson’s personal doctor, currently missing, after the star’s family suggested he died because of a drug overdose of Demerol, a synthetic form of morphine. 

Personally I grew up listening to his music and watching his movies because he was my dad’s favorite artist. I loved all of his music and I was wishing I could to one of his final concerts, but unfortunately no one will be able to gain that experience with the exception of small youtube viewings. It is so odd to say that he is no longer with us. I suppose I have always had this naive mindset that he would always be around, immortal like his music will forever be. He brought so much to the music mainstream that many praise. I have never known anyone where if you said his name to not know who he was and heard a song by him. His music was revolutional where he is one of those icons that never imitated anyone, but many imitated him or acknowledge that he was part of their inspiration. He had a genuine eye for fresh ideas that continued to evolve, shown by his dance choreography and his bright idea of the mechanical insert to his shoes for his trademark lean. Michael was a talented singer, dancer, song writer, chorographer, producer, and much more.

 There have been many controversies throughout his life about allegedly doing inappropriate actions with children. My comment on that is that it’s only speculation. I agree his actions may have inappropriate such as sleepovers, but as in sexual abuse I have no comment on because I wasn’t present. Most often when he settled out of court he stated that he just got tired of all of it. He grew tired of all the time it took with courts and the attention that focused on something that didn’t happen. Even if a person disagrees with me believes that he’s is guilty, leave it at that. No person should wish for someone’s death. Also how can a person outway the good over something they have no proof over to such an extream as wanting them dead? If anything, he should still be respected separately as an artist from him as a person for all the things he has contributed. Let me have my Thriller and let God figure out the rest. 

I think the way he acted has been contributed mentally believing himself as still a child. He expressed himself as though he could only connect with children than he could with adults. Like his reason for his physical changes, I think he only wanted to be loved and just could not find it because he didn’t love himself. He seemed to be deeply troubled emotionally which could have been caused by his history of sexual abuse and the fact that his fame began since the age of five, so for 45 years he has known nothing but fame. 

People out there have their own opinions of Michael that all the good he did seems to be discredited and looked over. He did so much not only in the music world, but all the contributions he made to so many charities. Jackson has donated and raised millions of dollars for beneficial causes through his foundation, charity singles and support of 39 charities. The award was given for Jackson’s support of charities that helped people overcome alcohol and drug abuse. He donated his $5 million share from the Victory Tour to charity.

 His personality always came across as a very humble, sweet, sincere person, and deserves to be respected.

 To have lived such a huge stardom life and end suddenly at the age of 50 is such a tragic event that has touched the lives of many worldwide and he will forever be remembered.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deepak-chopra/a-tribute-to-my-friend-mi_b_221268.html

Adventure Junkie

•June 23, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Life is either an incredible adventure…or nothing at all

This week I wanted to focus on the Adventure Junkie.
Check out Incredible Adventures Link as well ——–>

My life’s story has been filled with many ups and downs that were harder than others and easier than others. Each of our lives is no less significant than the other, but we all choose our own way to walk through life to make it impactful or not.

I have deemed, as well as others, myself as an adventure junkie.

I try to gain new experiences and explore the world because more often life is just too short. I learn a new hobby/sport and excel at it then move on to the next one.

There is no other feeling like doing something dangerous and so daring.

In a way it gives your life so much meaning and life that the day to day dullness.

I want so much out of life and sometimes I feel as though my soul and heart are miles ahead of me while this body of mine drags me behind. Some days I really do believe I will die young or at least sooner than most, and that is what keeps my life on edge and busy.

I do not fear death or being alone which seems to be the trend, but I truly believe I fear in living a boring life. The sad part is that what really led me to think that was the Talladega Nights movie with Will Ferrel. His father always ran because of his need to keep running and going fast. One part I found funny was when they were trying to be a decent family and he said, “I’m starting to feel itchy.” I think ditchy would have been funnier but eh. My point is I know that itch so well. I have often thought of leaving all of my life behind just to taste fresh air and just keep running. I’m always in need of a good adventure. Go somewhere and not know where the hell you’re going.

If tomorrow I suddenly changed my mind of my career I would backpack the world and find a way to make my mark that way. A job that would allow me travel has always been my dream.

I’ve always wondered how would be always on the run. I’m sure like anything else would become old, but at this very moment in time it seems like it never would. Blood rushing, heart pounding, hands gripped until they are white as bone… I would say if it weren’t so wrong I would probably an assassin lol.

One friend once told me that I’m using danger as a way from running from my problems. To a degree I can agree I suppose because sometimes I feel I need that reminder that I’m alive and my life is expendable if I don’t take care of by facing my problems.

You can’t always run from your problems like you can’t always be afraid of the unknown or take chances.

The next step in my adventure life is to buy a sports bike.

(Look at Photo of the week)

There are many who disagree with my choice, but like everything else I do I say, why bother being afraid of everything that could be considered dangerous. Relationships no matter the type, are an adventure in their own as well. A friend who continues to inspire me once told me that not matter what you pace may be fast or slow, someone will always be there to match your speed. This is the speed I choose to live my life. Everyone will die sooner or later, but I wont let need to live life the longest scare me to not living life at all. A bike is just a stepping-stone in my life.

The adrenaline of imagining the life with no limits or obligation is overwhelming, yet here most of us are doing things we dislike or feel obligated to doing. There is nothing worse than feeling trapped in your own life. I have put up with so much in life that in my mind it seems so tangible and almost possible to really explore the world and truly be happy with my life. I’m at the age where no longer wish, but demand that I truly want it all. It’s all about entitlement. I am entitled to be happy. I’m entitled to live my life to continuously seek adventure. I’m entitled to live my life.

I would rather Die a life of with fun and adventure than Live a life of boring regrets

~Lady Temptress

Poetry– My Love

•June 18, 2009 • 4 Comments

This is my last post for my poetry week. Thanks to those who bared with me in my lazy postings. I hope for next week to be more interesting, but we’ll see because I have a Chem exam to study for.

My Love 

Be Strong and Calm Down
Close Your eyes and shut out the World
Feel my touch

My arms embrace you
Warm and safe
The smell of my scent
With hands intertwining in my hair

Think of us and the Unbinding Love we share
The future that holds for us
So bright, yet unclear

I hold you tighter
Know that there is Hope
Pain from those we Cherish most of all

Hear my words barley a whisper
I Love You and am willing to do anything to Protect you

Our hearts beat as One
Be safe and feel calm
Rest Your Head on my shoulder
I Caress you so gently
My voice ever lingers

I am here
I am here

Poetry– My Confession

•June 17, 2009 • 2 Comments

Here is another entry to my Poetry week.

My Confession

Fate of a Promise
Path of Despair
True Love Relinquished
Destiny Unclear

My How the Rain Falls
Like the Pained Tears I Shed
To Cover the Truth
Of Betrayal lead

So I Stand
Alone With My Torment
I Embrace Its Cooluch
The Vail of Darkness
Ever So deafening

So I Stand And cry out
A Name Forbidden
With the Hope of My Love
Return to Me Salvation

So I stand Now!
No More Shall I Take Shame
This Is My Life
That I Will To Be Saved

It Takes True Courage
To Live Than To Die
I Shall Not Surrender
To Deaths Unholy Temptation

I Whisper My Vengeance
Put Unwillingly In This Place
Going To Show Them All
The Strength, my Name

 Pure Will Shall Take Over
Defeating The Unclear

Look Up and Look Out
Consumed By the Velvet Night Sky
Believe In the Unforgiven

Believe in Salvation

Fall from the world
With the Remembrance of What Should Have Been.

Poetry–God My Salvation

•June 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

This week while dealing with my Tarnished blog, I think I will take a break from my insights and take the easy route and post some Poetry that I have written. 

God My Salvation

 

Heavy heart

Heavy chains

Break them free

By doves of purity

 

Shown of a life

The thundering realization

Ride of the beginning

Knowledge of nothing

With feelings clear

 

Part away the clouds

The rays of light shown through

Day turns to night

Stars up above

Glistening with wishes of a future

 

Life and the decision of right from wrong

My heart and voice is open

The spirit of a fighter

Hope sent by angels

I pray to thee

 

Time tests will

Will is the effort

Faced with a path

In I take your breath

I pray to thee

 

A new awakening

The dark now fades

As the sun now arises

Our life our treasure

I pray to thee

 

The hands of grace

Neither flesh nor entity

Inspiration

The essence

God I pray to thee

May the grace of God be with me

To give me the strength

For the cross I willingly bear.

God My Salvation

 

Heavy heart

Heavy chains

Break them free

By doves of purity

 

Shown of a life

The thundering realization

Ride of the beginning

Knowledge of nothing

With feelings clear

 

Part away the clouds

The rays of light shown through

Day turns to night

Stars up above

Glistening with wishes of a future

 

Life and the decision of right from wrong

My heart and voice is open

The spirit of a fighter

Hope sent by angels

I pray to thee

 

Time tests will

Will is the effort

Faced with a path

In I take your breath

I pray to thee

 

A new awakening

The dark now fades

As the sun now arises

Our life our treasure

I pray to thee

 

The hands of grace

Neither flesh nor entity

Inspiration

The essence

God I pray to thee

 

May the grace of God be with me

To give me the strength

 For the cross I willingly bear.

 

Tarnished–My life My Vengeance

•June 15, 2009 • 4 Comments

Out in the real world I am know to participate in aggressive sports even though my stereotype look seems like they are the last things I would choose to do. I’m a quiet introvert, so I need something where I take out any stress, anger, or any type of emotion. Confrontation is one thing I try to avoid, so to express that raw emotion I simply beat someone up or in the case of fencing you’re stabbing someone over and over again. I’m not very good at expressing how I feel to others, so I would rather deal with it by exerting all that energy into something else. There is nothing like building your adrenaline up and pushing your limits until you’re spent.

I know it seems psychotic, but if you get on my bad side and really tic me off I need to let it out somehow doing something productive. I use to be great at fencing in high school, granted that I was used as a human pincushion with a lot of bruises, but that is to be expected in all contact sports.

My reasons for bringing up this topic about me today is because although I may appear nice and sweet most of the time, I can be very vindictive. People who really know and understand me know that I cam be a very mean, female dog, vengeful person if you are in what the Italian mob would describe as “My Hit List.” I can’t change that because in my opinion I am a great judge of character and follow my intuition full heartedly. I always have a knack for knowing when something is wrong.

What can I do? I live the life where lies are common and heartbreak are like strings to a puppet. I’m living a life where the world is now consumed but the wirings of a computer screen and workings of false interaction. To be honest myspace and all messengers has become the destruction of many relationships. Even now as I write I am a victim of it.

In the past my relationship has been filled with lies, deceit and a lack of respect. We have been through many struggles between my significant other and other females via interent and previous girlfriends. I gave all that I had to save the relationship and explain how flirting, trading pictures, etc. is disrespectful and in my eyes emotionally cheating. Things have gotten better and worse in the 4 years we fought. They would go away then slowly revert back when these women would contact back just wanting to be “friends.” It ended up to the point where I could no longer take it. I gave up what I continue to advise others… my dignity. I was constantly questioning my self worth believing I was worthless. I try not to hold regrets, but thinking back over the year would I have agreed to have that relationship if I had known? I continued to ask, “What am I doing? What have I become?” I have become that of my enemy. The worst kind. I am a hypocrite. I was acting upon revenge and directing things to the wrong person to blame. I have done things that were against what I try to represent and am not proud of (Not cheating for those of you may come to the conclusion of). So I left.

As I looked at him and walked away I felt no sadness, no remorse. I felt no regret in the error of my ways. I had no apologizes. For that I am stronger, but really am I stronger as a person or am I stronger in my ways of deception, losing the good character morals that I have been know to have? It seems like no matter what set forth to doing I have this need to be the best. I try my hardest not to give up and do my best… to go down fighting as it were. I also, thanks to my mom, have been taught since I was little to show no mercy. This is where I believe I attained my hunger and, dare I say, strive to be perfect. It’s not as if I try to be by sheer will, but the intent is so that I can say I gave it my all. I suppose this is where my mean. Straight to the point reality comes from.

At times I can speak the truth and on my off days where it hasn’t been processed through my “Think of the consequences before you act or speak” and say or do something that in truth would not regret at the time. I try not to hold regrets in my life because I really don’t want to live in the past, but I am human so I do have a few regrets that I can honestly say pain me to this day. Which is why I took our breakup occasionally hard. I felt like failed and there was something I could have done or compromise.

Quite a bit of time had passed and then my ex had contacted me again. He wrote to me saying that maybe on day we could get back together when he grew up and became more mature, but in the mean time we can be friends. He gave me a 2 page letter that I found insulted my intelligence. It insulted me in the fact it was filled with lies discounting all that he has done to me with other women. I no longer had wished to speak with him again, but I needed him to know my stand. He obviously couldn’t after years and years of confrontation understand how I felt and thought, or just chose to turn a blind eye. So I wrote a 10 page reply with proof of constant broken promises, letters/ IMs to other women, you name it. Overall I told him to look in the mirror and asked him what he saw then proceeded to state what I saw. It was a brutal letter where I explained I refused to be a part of those women. I refuse to be a part of the collection. I refused to question my self worth again. I refused to give up myself and who I am with a list what I expected out of any partner I chose to have.

For once he fought for me ridding his computer, IMs, went back to church, agreed to counseling, and even wrote a letter to both his my friends and family willing explaining how he had treated me and our relationship, asking a second chance from me. He wanted to live up to my expectations. It took me a long time to come up with answer because my letter’s intent was to be a big F off rather than him find some revelation. I told him that if I were to give him a second chance that it wouldn’t be easy and that he would have to put a lot of effort because I was tired of holding things together. That if things were to slip back that I would leave without a second thought now that I know that I am able to.

This was back in Oct. and we have been doing well. I won’t lie and say things weren’t hard for me occasionally because of the trust issues to work through, but we were doing well. Now to the point of all of this—This weekend one female of our past, the main issue that seemed to come back every year has once again interfered with us. I have not spoken to her for over a year and yet she has personally attacked me. My boyfriend has not responded to her and neither have I, but she has crossed the line of simple verbal abuse. She has degraded me by hacking into his e-mail account and emailing all of his family and friends degrading me in the worst way possible. I am too old to play these games. I am tired of dealing with people that have no claim to interact in our lives. I am a simple person with a complicated mind. It is taking all that I have to not seek revenge, because like I said before, I do not handle anger well. To be angry is not in my mental make up, so to be this furious consumes me. The worst part is I despise that she is getting any amusement out of this. I am not laughing. Nor will I give her the satisfaction of knowing that I’m angry. 

No matter if my significant other explains the situation to them I have been left with a mark to change their opinion of me. I hate being looked at as ignorant or anything less of who I am. I work very hard to earn respect and be seen with integrity, and for a simple minded, delusional, tart to take that from me in one day puts me in a position where it is very difficult to think rationally. It all has been a risk that I took. I have quite the decision ahead of me to figure out the worth of everything.

Life’s a Bitch now so am I, so just watch your step for Vengeance.

Life Reflection

•June 11, 2009 • 2 Comments

Now this isn’t mine but is something worth posting. It is a collection of unspoken truths that humans are often guilty of throughout life. I can attest that I have also been guilty of so many of these negative actions. After reading, I fully agree with this person’s thoughts and perspective on how even negative thoughts have power to create a postive.

As a consequence of their self-absorbed consciousness, humans are the most cruelest and horrible of species on this Earth. Knowing this, we should always be reserved with our trust toward and inner-most feelings for others.

You’re depression is a result of your insolent desire for self-destruction. – Kahlil Gibran.

When in an emotional slump, force yourself to open your eyes and appreciate the natural beauty of the world. This is also a good way to reinforce one’s humility.

Question why we feel the need for a relationship/partner. Often we attach ourselves to horrible people out of misunderstanding/ignorance of this drive in us. We are worth so much more than that.

Take sorrow and anguish and temporarily make it into anger – it’s a powerful motivator for change.

To those who have hurt you, say thank you – they have elevated you above their shoulders as they trample along their own hell.

One’s diet has a profound effect on state of mind and emotional health. Learn to identify which eating habits and/or foods are culprits to feeling low.

Those who fumble toward instantaneous gratification lose grip on the longer-term and longer-lasting benefits that come with reservation.

Those who fear change are essentially dead. Those who embrace it and live by it are Godly.

If someone passes you over in a dash to get something/someone else, it really is their loss – they’re losing a great opportunity in something greater than their self-absorbed and desperate clinging to habits.

Never play down someone else’s suffering. Experiences are a relative, and there is no ranking on people’s perception of their own suffering.

Learn to forgive, but never forget – remembering is the basis to learning from mistakes, and recognizing and preventing similar events.

We are all Gods. Take time to understand the implications of this.

Why let somone else’s bullshit affect your life?! Take your own direction and carve-out your own path in life.

Learn to give, but understand the parable of fishing: give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime.

It has been proven that in human physiology, mental attitudes and habits circularly reinforce chemical markers that attract people of similar mental attitudes, and repel those with opposite behaviours. So re-learn your habits and teach yourself to be positive, energetic, happy, and optimistic (and truly believe it in yourself!)

Learn to love yourself. Easy to say, but harder to practise. We often find ourselves fixating on the external to fulfil an internal emptiness. When we love ourselves, this self-pitying need will become vacuuous.

Value the “Golden Rule” of life: treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. This rule of moral conduct is not a creation soley from Christianity, it has been present independently in almost every cluture throughout history

Let go of the chains of the past – they are simply phantom vices and quickly dissipate once we live for today and tomorrow.

Thoughts and feelings are not real. Learn to acknowledge their presence and detatch yourself from being controlled by them. – The Buddha.

Remember, you hold the key to your happiness. All negative experiences, albiet lingeringly hurtful, are the crank-handles to elevating your soul to a new strata of humanity.

Etiquette and the Shame of our Society

•June 10, 2009 • 4 Comments

Our society, to put it bluntly, is another Hoverville with a little more class. What ever happened to the proper way of speaking, dress, and communication in general?

Our society no longer takes pride in propriety, but rather encourage to be cosmetically educated. We are so caught up in the need to be a so called “gangster” age slandering the English language. True slang is a part of our language, but do we really need the false accent of being “Gangster,” “Blondie,” “ignorant” everywhere? I don’t remember any of us as children speaking this way. We are so caught up in the fame stardom propaganda that we can’t even create our own individual image. How did we change from the fearless expressions of our youth to overbearing concern of our self image?

We care so much of what’s “In” that even the way we dress has been influenced. True there are great clothing lines out there with clothing that has it’s own accepted style, but the wayI see it is, if a person chooses their look only according to recent stars out there rather than looking out for their own tastes, then there lies the problem.

Another thing that puts our society to shame is the amount we curse at each other. My moral values stand where I don’t curse at all. I don’t mind if people do around me, but I just listen to how people can slander the English language so much. People today have grown to sounding so uneducated and juvenile. Because of the new propaganda, our generation has come to terms that cursing every other word is acceptable. The more slanderous language is used, the power of the meaning is loss. Curse words were meant to be of great impact, not acceptable as an everyday use. To me to be able to have an argument or any type of conversation you must present yourself with dignity and using such vulgar language just puts you in a position where all you have are curse words without the education the support what ever point you want across. What has our generation come to? Are people whom have proper etiquette a rare breed?

What ever happened to the ladies and gentlemen of our society? Where are our Elizabeths’ and Mr. Darcys’?

Perfect example of what I’m talking about it the movie My Fair Lady. If you can watch a classic like that and understand it and its meaning then you my friend are most likely part of this rare breed.

Until next time

-Lady Temptress

Integrity

•June 9, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I want to be looked upon as having integrity because of my morals. I do this for myself to say I had it all, to become legendary if you will. I’m not striving for perfection but to at least give it my all. Yes I have been told that I am a perfectionist, but I never want to accept something lower than I deserve. I don’t want to sell myself short. I believe when god finally sees us as perfection that he will take us away to the kingdom of heaven. Perfection is seen in the eyes of the beholder.

My views on life are if you are not able to deal with the challenges ahead then you are not living up to your full potential. True days are harder than others but true courage lies in the strength to carry on because in life there are no safety nets. I know my words are easier said then done but it’s a truth that I hold for myself. Even if I find life grows to be difficult I pull through it as much as I can. I’m not afraid to say I have my moments where I can no longer follow through on my own. In fact I could just break down and cry.

It is ok to cry and I know that now. The statement of crying shows weakness I have come to find is partially true because now I see that there is strength in weakness. I go to those I love for comfort. To hold me tight in their arms to say everything will be ok. No matter what the problem they will do everything they can to make my suffering go away.

It’s all a game of the mind. To pull yourself together and become in control is one of the hardest thing to accomplish on your own. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to pick yourself up clear your mind and think out your problem.

I try to view both sides of an objection even when I don’t always agree. It is when I feel strongly about a belief is when I will not budge on what I feel is right. I have to try my best to express my feelings even though no one wants to listen. Every word is important in some way. We are important in the world.

Look at a watch with an analog face. Count the seconds hand for 15 seconds and tell me what you learned…. Experienced.

Truth be told within those 15 seconds you just watched time pass by without the ability to reclaim it. Your life that I took in which could been used for a greater purpose. If we take that time and applied it to a larger scale imagine what could have been accomplished if it weren’t wasted.

Time is defined as a non-spatial continuum in which events occur in apparently irreversible succession from the past through the present to the future.

What better way to reflect about our time left here than to discuss the moments of our past.

It’s amazing when we find our memories to be a blessing, yet a burden at times. A reminder of the past where we lived in the moment. So small but with great significance. Words were said, promises made to ensure true happiness in our lives. In that brief moment we engrave a ghost of memory of our emotions. We think back and ask ourselves the question why do we reflect back to the memory? What triggers the longing from the past to show it’s face to the present? It defines who we are. All these thumbprints imprinted in out mind teach us who we are. The happy and sad moments that have been given as well as received is what puts us in place in the world. It’s all a matter if we choose to listen and learn. By communicating with each other we give each other meaning.

Do we truly exist if we alone isolate ourselves from the world?

We meet new people with an exchanged glace creating the connection to further impact ourselves in the world. Let them all know you exist and are still here. Without the interaction of another we are as invisible as we appear to be and as insignificant we feel to be. It is a choice to interact with dignity to show who we really are without the mask. To be grown up with integrity.

On occasion we trudge over the limits of the relationship whether it may be a friend, family, or love relationship. We deeply hurt each other causing the relationships that we build with each other to branch into different directions.

Is all the hurt we give to each other worth what we lose by it? Are the wounds we inflict on each other worth our ego? Are we too stubborn not to care how others around us feel that we wont listen to reason?

You have to ask yourself what do you want out of a relationship? What do you really want to commit to? In the end what would be best for your future?

Every moment in life that we experience happens for a reason. It’s a matter in what direction you take and learn from it. Each obstacle builds your character to who you are, but each action raises you up to whom you truly wish to be.

Time is the past, present and future.

Yesterday the history tomorrow a mystery today a gift that’s why they call it the present.